


The Breaking Point

by triwizard_tardis



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Heavy - Freeform, Homophobic Slurs, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Skinny!Steve, cursing, drunk Bucky, minor alcoholism, pre-serum steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2297228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triwizard_tardis/pseuds/triwizard_tardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky just can't do it anymore, which might be a good thing, because Steve's had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the Captain America franchise, but there wouldn't be much left for me to do if I did. Thanks to all their queer-baiting, all that's really left is for the actually owners to grow a pair and write in the scene where Steve and Bucky kiss.
> 
> Thanks to my friend for the title!

"Why do you do this, Buck?" Steve asks in earnest. It's the first soft spoken word he feels like he says all day. Bucky's home late again. Reeking of stale alcohol and vomit, covered in sweat. He ran home, Steve can tell by how winded he is at the door. And then a yelling match.

"Why're you back so late?" Steve already knows the answer.

"Look does it really matter!?" Bucky will avoid it anyway.

"Of course it fucking matters!" And Steve will snap.

"I had few beers at the pub and –"

"A _few_!?" Steve almost can't believe Bucky's audacity. "Buck, you smell like a goddamn brewery! And you look like death." His eyes soften. Drunks are born from their parents. Steve knows he should have expected this.

"I got into a little fight that's all." Bucky dismisses it by way of explanation. Steve sighs.

"What over?" Bucky tenses because Steve has never asked for something so specific. But lying on the spot was a talent for Bucky.

"Guy was bein' a jackass. What? You the only one who gets to defend a dames honor?" Distraction. A key element in lying.

"No." Steve admitted, but something in Steve's gaze wasn't buying it. Then, "But why? Last I check, all a dame was good for to you was a quick fuck."

Bucky looked hurt. He wasn't going to deny the truth in the fact, but the way Steve had said it made it seem like Bucky would force her without a second thought. She at least deserved some say, even Bucky knew that.

"Look, Buck, I didn't mean it like that." Steve softens visibly, reading his friends face. "I just wanna know why. Why do you do this, Buck?" And Bucky can't take it anymore.

"I gotta leave. I gotta get outta here."

"What!? No! You just got back!"

Bucky heads for the door, but Steve launches himself at Bucky's midsection in a attempt to tackle him. He knows the sheer grip of his twiggy hands around Bucky's wrist won't be enough to stop him.

"You're not going out again!" Steve says, far too stern for someone perceivably hugging someone else as though from longing.

Bucky stills, then tries to pick himself out of Steve's grasp.

"You're not gonna stop me! Now would you let go!? We look fucking queer!" Bucky sneers a little more than he maybe means to. Now Steve stills. Bucky's been trying to shake him, and for the most part it's worked, but now Steve is still as a rock, not some much as a budge despite his inferior strength.

"And what if I was, huh?" The words come out so solid even though inside, he's shaking like a leaf. Bucky halts all movement.

"Don't say that." Bucky warns, voice threateningly quiet, eyes shrouded in shadow.

"Why not!?" Steve wails suddenly, "You gonna kick me out? You gonna beat me up like the other assholes!?" His voice is raising dangerously in pitch and Bucky can't take it anymore.

"Shut up!" He snaps, ripping easily from Steve's iron grip. He turns on Steve; he won't have this. "You are not a fucking fairy. Do you here me!?"

"And what gives you the right!?" Steve challenges. And Bucky storms into the house, backing him into the kitchen door frame.

 

"Stop it, Steve!" His voice is harsh, but his words are almost pleading, as he pins Steve to the frame by the boney shoulder. Then his voice is soft again, the same warning quietude, as he says, "I won't let you get yourself hurt because of this."

Steve almost misses the unspoken _because of me_. He stares up at Bucky with defiance and disappointment. Bucky can only muster the true emotions of fear and self loathing through his alcoholic haze. The stench of liquor still rests heavy on his breath, but Steve's begun to realize he can only smell it for their close proximity. Bucky knows they're too close. He knows that if he doesn't pull away right now, he's going to corrupt Steve. He'll lean in just a little closer and commit a crime he's definitely going to regret. He almost pulls away; then Steve starts to speak.

"But you'll do it to yourself?" The disappointed edge to his voice isn't for what Bucky is, or for what he wants. It's for the pure self hatred that radiates off him. And it's for trying to rescue Steve from something which Steve need not be rescued. But to a mind clouded in booze, all Bucky hears is judgement.

"Don't do this to me, Stevie." Bucky pleads, his tone more tired, and sober, than it has been all night. Despite himself, he feels like he could cry. Red starts to rim his eyes, and the back of his throat scratches so much he thinks it could be bleeding.

"You don't get to make this choice for me." Steve's voice comes out stern, but somehow begging, like he needs Bucky to understand. Bucky's gaze fell as soon as he started tearing up. Now, Steve grabs his chin and forces Bucky to face him.

The vulnerability on Bucky's face makes him look so pure and so beautiful.

Steve moves his hand to cup the side of Bucky's face. He rubs a boney thumb under leaking eyes.

"Bucky," Steve whispers, carding his fingers through the back of black-brown locks. Then he pulls closed the space between them, kissing hard before pulling away, resting his forehead on Bucky's, and promising, "It's gonna be alright."


End file.
